Actually, as I expected, the starting of the trial is already very hard.. But God was kind enough to send me a long beloved friend, who can understand the situation and have also personally went through it.. to give me a bit of encouragement.. Yes.. indeed it is very sad.. and feeling very lost..

Sometimes, I wonder if my faith is even smaller than a mustard seed. As suddenly, the words of Jesus floated back to my mind

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matt 17: 20)

Perhaps my faith is much lower than a mustard seed.. Perhaps sometimes trusting God requires something more from us… Especially when songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies.

A lot of times, it is very easy for us to say.. “We trust in God” when things are always fine and beautiful. But what about the times when everything we hold on to is no longer there? Will we still then have the courage to move on in life.. and say to God.. “Dear God, even if your will is for me to go through the valley of the shadow of death, I would go through it and will not stop loving you.” And how many of us would dare to say Amen to that?

I remember Job once told his wife “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10)
But even so, Job cannot fully survive the trial, and only when God open his mouth, then Job fully understand the purpose of his suffering.

This reminded me of this hymn that I remembered. “His Eye is on the Sparrow” by Civilla D Martin and Charles H Gabriel.

It was inspired from the words of Jesus
“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matt 6:26)

“Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.” Matt 10:29-31

When the authors were sojourning. They came across a Christian couple, the husband was a cripple who can only move around by propelling himself in the wheel chair, and the wife was bedridden for 20 years.. Yet they can lead happy Christian lives. When asked for their secret of strength they simply said “His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.”

It is hard to find some clips where they play all 3 stanzas. But I personally find Jim Greeninger version of the hymn the nicest. Although I would certainly hope he plays one more stanza… 😦

Title: His Eye is On The Sparrow
Writer: Civilla D. Martin
Composer” Charles H. Gabriel

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

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