Today, marks the first Sabbath of my trial. Actually, the pain is getting worst and worst
Once when I was crying to God in my prayer.. and I asked God whether he knows that
I am feeling so weak.. that I do not know how I should be handling the situation around
me…

I know that God was watching for me, and he had heard my prayers… and he is the
one that holds my tomorrow… But now… all I need is a comfort for God… and all I want
to tell God … that, I would love him.. and if his will… is for me to go through my Gethsemane,
and to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I would just want a clear indication
from him… one word from him and I will enter the valley… I just do not wish to step into
the valley without Gods authorisation (yea.. its a weird feeling.. why would one wants to
go into suffering? .. But really… I know that even if I walk through that valley… Gods staff
and his rod would comfort me.. As long as its Gods will, I would w

I wonder, whether God can see us crying while we are praying… That is when God just
answer me.. for those tears I died” .. as a comfort. This hymn is inspired from Psalm 56.
Written by David, when the Philistines captured him in Gath.

Psalm 56:
Be merciful to me, O God, for man would swallow me up;
Fighting all day he oppresses me.
My enemies would hound me all day,
For there are many who fight against me, O Most High.

Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?

All day they twist my words;
All their thoughts are against me for evil.
They gather together,
They hide, they mark my steps,
When they lie in wait for my life.
Shall they escape by iniquity?
In anger cast down the peoples, O God!

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
When I cry out to You,
Then my enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for me.
In God (I will praise His word),
In the LORD (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God;
I will render praises to You,
For You have delivered my soul from death.
Have You not kept my feet from falling,
That I may walk before God
In the light of the living?

I really wonder how David feels like when he is surrounded… I really wandered how similar is my feeling to his.
But to me, its a big comfort that God has numbered my wanderings and put my tears in his bottle. Recorded them
one by one.

The term, “For those tears I died” that God was comforting me, came from this hymn that Marsha Stevens has written,
I learnt that during one of the camps last year.

Title: For Those Tears I Died
Music, Lyrics: Marsha Stevens

You said you’d come and share all my sorrows
You said you’d be there for all my tomorrows
I came so close to sending you away
And just like you promised, you came there to stay
I just had to pray.

(Chorus)
And Jesus said, Come to the water, stand by my side,
I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied.
I felt every teardrop when in darkness you cried,
And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

Repeat Chorus

Your goodness so great I can’t understand,
And, dear Lord, I know that this was all planned.
Saviour, you’re here now, and always will be.
Your love is so great and always so free, Jesus and me.

Repeat Chorus

Jesus, I give you my heart and my soul.
I know, without God I’d never be whole,
Saviour, you opened up all the right doors,
And I thank you and praise you from earth’s humble shores.
Take me, I’m yours.

Repeat Chorus

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