I was listening to the Albums of Corrinne May and suddenly i realise she was singing about the story of 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes.

Lately I was very concern that i feel that, I am not doing what I planned to do ever since i landed in this place.. In fact, I am plague with so much problems, logistically, and practically. Sometimes I feel so helpless in my situation… Especially when I reminded myself of all the “Mission Objectives” that i have taken upon myself when i touch down to this place.

Almost all my objectives returned with a huge failure (Although not all is lost, I still think, the chances of success is so low… that I am not even sure why am I trying to fight a lost clause).. If its was the hesitant prize fighter back in his old world.. he would have packed up and pursue a new prize.. Yet, now he is gathering up his last troops and making a last stand. Hopefully God will be merciful and turn the tide to his favour once again.

Ironically, Corrinne Mays song, really captured every feeling i have about my situation.. and .. I decided to reread the story of the boy and the five loaves and two fishes. Interestingly, the four gospels all had an entry of it.. Only John talks about the Lad.

Five Loaves of Bread and Two Fishes ( Matt 14:13-21; Mk 6:30-44; Lk 9:10-16, Jn 6:1-14)
So… Jesus was going to a deserted place near Bethsaida. He went by a boat, near the sea of Tiberius. The passover is near… But the crowds needed Jesus so much, they took pains to find out where he is, and came to Jesus… Jesus, having compassion to them, started to teach and heal them.. At this time, the little child must have passed by.. and join in the crowds to listen (I am not sure if he is 13 or not 😉 ).

So .. the time slowly passed till the night, and the crowds still has not dispersed. This is when the disciples wanted to send the people away so they can get food. But Jesus said no, he wanted the disciples to provide food for people. According to John, Jesus gave this problem as a trial for Philip.. So Philip identified the logistical nightmare of providing food for 5000 people… But he is not sure what to do, while the young boy came to Andrew, and offered his 5 loaves and 2 fishes.. Andrew brought it before Jesus.

Actually Jesus has long knew what he is going to do, so he took the bread and fish.. given thanks, and broke them and pass them to the disciples (Note that the miracle has not happened) . The disciples got the people to sit down in group, and they distributed the food. Strangely as they are breaking the bread, and the fishes.. they get more and more fragments.. and 5000 are fed.

In fact, the Miracle only started when he disciples trust God, and broke the food.. if they were to be faithless, and not break it.. the miracle will never happen..

Alot of emphasis was place on Gods test to Philip, and Andrew, as well as the work of God.. no one really paid attention to the little lad who offered it up.. It is no wonder that Jesus said, unless you become like little children you would never be able to enter heaven (Matt 18:2-3)

This little child has complete trust that Jesus will know what to do, and although his little bit of bread and fish may seems nothing to everyone.. but before God, this offering is never too small.

Basically, i learnt the following from him
1. Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that we are not superman, we cant do everything. We are just offering our insignificant 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Jesus.. and Jesus is more than willing to use it to take care of a huge number of people.

2. He is willing to give it away to Jesus.. while he is sure that if he ate them he will not be hungry. So.. the question whether Jesus could use us as his vessels to comfort and help others, lies on how willing we are to give up our significant 5 loaves and 2 fishes which seems so small to everyone.

Therefore, I was comforted about my predicament… and I trust that God treasures my insignificant 5 loaves and 2 fishes.. and he is ever willing to work with what we have.. to provide comfort and support to those around. Jesus treasured my offering just as he look highly upon the widow and her two copper mites.

And all God wants from us is our willingness to offer. for God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor 9:7)

Let us hear what Corrinne had to add to what i say.

Title: Five Loaves And Two Fishes
Artist: Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn’t sure what good it’d do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said:

“Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all”

I often think about that boy when I’m feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I’ll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my “Amen”

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it’s not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

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